My Relationship Coach: Dating traps


By: Riana Milne Special to the Boca and Delray newspapers
I just got back from LA where I was one of five Certified Life & Love/Relationship Coaches to be in a new TV Series due out next year called Radical Dating – Finding Love After 40. We got to meet several of the final contestants who are seriously looking for an emotionally healthy, evolved love relationship.
As they told their personal stories, I heard repeatedly that many fell into the “Dating Relationship Traps” – those pesky little habits or ways of thinking or acting that make you sabotage your chances at a great partnership. Dating Traps are unconscious choices that result in unsolvable problems; and often ends the dating relationship early on; or if you choose to stay together, creates a faulty foundation for the partnership. How many are you doing that ruin your chances for quality Love?
There are 14 Dating Traps; as defined by David Steele of Relationship Coaching Institute. Here are five of them:
Packaging Trap: You focus on someone’s looks, body, job, wealth, or material possessions and overlook the reality of the person on the inside. Learn to look beyond their packaging to get to the real character of someone to see if you are truly compatible.
Marketing Trap: You “sell” yourself by becoming more appealing for your dates instead of showing up authentic. You fear no one would want you as you truly are; so when the sizzle normalizes, your partner could be left disappointed and angry. Be yourself, not a “fake you.”
Attraction Trap: You make a relationship choice totally based on “chemistry” or attraction. Yes, it is important – but character, integrity and matching your relationship requirements are more important; looks fad over time – but character holds true.
Compatibility Trap: Often the fun-filled recreational dating does not mesh well with a serious, long-term committed relationship. A Life Partner must also be responsible have excellent Character traits, and not always focused on having fun and creating romance.
Fairytale Trap: Passively expecting your “Prince Charming” to magically appear; not taking responsibility for your efforts in dating or outcomes. Or; you believe that you can live “happily ever after” without working on the relationship; all leading to being forever – Single. Be the “Chooser” and use effective scouting, sorting, screening and testing to choose an emotionally healthy and evolved life partner.
Riana Milne, MA, LMHC, CAP is a Certified, global Relationship, Love & Life Coach, a #1 Best Selling author, Life & Relationship Coach for the upcoming TV Show, Radical Dating – Finding Love Over 40, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Cert Addictions Professional at Therapy by the Sea; 15300 Jog Rd, Suite 109, Delray Beach.To learn more about Riana’s Coaching programs or suggest a topic, go to or email Worldwide Coaching Phone: (201) 281-7887. Delray office: (561) 701-8277.